Sunday, June 28, 2009

Gay Pride Month

Well, here we are almost at the end of Gay Pride month as proclaimed by President William Jefferson Clinton in 2000, and more recently, President Barack Obama on the 1st of this month. This is the time of the year all over the country when the LGBT communities come together to celebrate their identity and self-esteem with each other. Depending on which state you live in will determine how large the event will be. California and New York are known to have great Pride parades with activities and events. Today, as I am writing this, they are marching and bringing awareness in a happy and entertaining way.

What is so ironic about this is that despite California’s liberal laws and “perfect” weather, it still holds a black cloud of shame due to the recent vote on Proposition 8 that disallows same-sex marriages after six months of having it legal on the state level. There was much effort on the part of gay rights activists as well as some politicians to push legislature to legalize same-sex marriage through New York’s state senate. This year celebrates the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots which took place in New York at the raided gay bar, Stonewall Inn. It was the June 1969 riots that later led to June being celebrated as Gay Pride month, and formally acknowledged by two presidential leaders.

So here’s the deal. The purpose of me writing this blog today is to acknowledge that we have come a long way in the gay community. I remember how challenging it was to be gay when I was younger and I know how much discrimination exists for me as an adult. I guess some people in this country feel that if I can be allowed to exist here, and not get stoned to death, I should be happy.

Well, I am happy for the most part. I am happy that the gay community is making progress and has legalized gay marriage in six states. Currently, three states perform marriages: Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa. Vermont and Maine will start performing in September of this year with New Hampshire following in January 2010. This is a great accomplishment considering five out of these six states all legalized gay marriage within a year of each other. It is as if the dominos are falling and it is only a matter of time until gay people get our equal rights and earned benefits.

So is the agenda moving fast enough? Well, first let me clarify what I mean by agenda. My main agenda for the gay community is to help people understand the LGBT community and have others within and outside our community support us. Support can include donations, volunteering, patronizing gay businesses, voting on legislation that supports gay marriage, and of course, listening to my radio show and reading my blog. I thank you for taking the time out of your day to be informed and supportive, even if you had not intended to be.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I am pretty sure most gay people’s agenda does not include converting straight people to gay, or forcing our way into your holy religion. There are plenty of places and people that support homosexuality on different levels. If you aren’t one of them, you’ll be losing a lot of business soon. For example, I met a pastor that invited me to his church. I actually liked the guy, but I strongly disagreed with his beliefs of homosexuality and stopped going to his church. This ultimately results in reduced personal support and revenue.

Another example is a women’s basketball game I went to in San Antonio. This was on the same day as gay pride in my area. The gay pride was smaller than I expected, but at least it exists out here. There was a lot of advertisement from Miller Lite beer. Despite not being a sucker for advertisement, and not even drinking beer except maybe once a year, I did have a few Miller Lite beers at the game.

I felt the need for a buzz after walking around San Antonio’s humidity and then waiting in line outside for the season’s première game to start. Since no pina coladas were available, I ended up supporting the same company that supported gay pride. I think it may be needless to say that just being at the WNBA indirectly supports my community. There were plenty of obviously gay people (or should I just say lesbians) supporting the WNBA. The San Antonio Stars won the game and we got more tickets that night. They won the next game so we got more tickets to an upcoming game.

What do I mean when I say all this? What I am saying is if you support me and my community, I will support you. That doesn’t just apply to homosexuality. I was honorably discharged from the military several years ago. Let’s just say I would not trade my military experience for anything because it is a part of who I am, but the experience could have been a lot nicer.

Initially, I was very bitter towards the military. Yet, as I have discovered more benefits to being a veteran, I have lost a lot of that bitterness and am now supportive of my community. That does not mean I agree with military politics. But now that I am a little older and experienced, I realize that these political organizations exists everywhere. I also realize that my willingness to help others and serve my country has in return helped me tremendously. Life is what you make of it.

So why in this world that is full of abundance are people so concerned over other people that really don’t affect their life? I believe most people should mind their own business unless someone personally asks them for help or advice. Otherwise, let people live as they choose. If I am an American citizen, a tax payer, and a veteran, why should I be treated any less than equal in regards to marriage?

I wish you strength and love.

:) The Gay Mentor

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Gay Mentor Now on iTunes and Twitter

Hello All,

I appreciate you visiting my blog and reading my opinions. I know my thoughts and feelings may appear unorthodox to many people. I also know in the future it won't be that way. Gay relationships will become ordinary, and those who oppose it will be left behind feeling bitter and possibly afraid. Most hate stems from fear and ignorance.

So, for those of you who are intelligent and aware, and see how this world is shifting to a more positive view on homosexuality, I invite you to subscribe to my podcast. All you have to do is download iTunes and go to it's store. If you type "The Gay Mentor" in the search box on the top right corner, you will be directed to my podcast which you can subscribe to for free. This way, you can get all my latest radio shows downloaded to you automatically. You can also customize how many shows you want to keep at any given time.

My radio show exists to answer common questions and address certain topics that affect the gay community. Of course, you don't have to be gay to listen. I believe this show is great for people who aren't gay, but want more insight on these issues. And, if you are gay, I would hope that you are listening to my show and participate sometime. Your voice should be heard.

I invite anyone to call in live to The Gay Mentor show. You can leave me feedback by commenting on this blog or sending me an email. More information is provided at my website, Sometimes, I appear on other radio shows. I can send you a link to these shows and updates through my Twitter account,

I wish you much happiness and success in all you do.

:) The Gay Mentor

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Should People Who Discriminate Against Gay People Be Made Public?

The world is full of different people with different beliefs. What makes a society great is how well we manage to get along with each others and be productive. Just as Earth continues to spin and rotate around the Sun, never stopping to take a break on the 7th day, society continues to move and progress to new levels of thought and environment. As humans we are, or should be striving to become more knowledgeable and advanced in our decision making. It should not be the goal of a society to remain at a stand still point indefinitely.

Throughout history, civilizations have had to change their way of thinking and actions to adapt to the current realities of their time, either for acceptance or basic survival. This is a never ending truth. The gift of life was never designed to allow some people to become statues stuck in one place throughout time, or worst hoping to time travel back to a life that is long gone. This only happens in movies. We are where we are because we are suppose to be here. Even if you refused to move forward in life, that would not change your environment and reality. Your world around you would continue to change and you would eventually get old and die.

With that said, why do so many people continue to remain stuck in their reality and beliefs without even trying to think outside the box? Your reality is what you make of it, and your beliefs will not change unless you make the effort to learn something new. The problem with many discontent people is that they try too hard to change others without taking a good look in the mirror. Everyone has issues that are less than positive, but to live life thinking (or acting like) you are superior to others for self-esteem purposes or whatever excuse (family, religion, etc) is where true dysfunction thrives.

If you do not agree with homosexuality, that is fine with me. Just let me know and I will choose not to associate with you. I have a right not to be friends or converse with people that may not be beneficial to my reality. I have that choice, and so does the other person. But to be the type of person that chooses to mind other people’s business and try to stop their pursuit of happiness is a different type of person. This is the type of person that either lacks self-esteem, or is a narcissist that is only concerned with their feelings and lacks empathy for others. Either way, these are not the type of people we want making decisions for others in a productive, advancing civilization.

So if these type of people decide they want to make personal decisions for other people that have absolutely nothing to do with them, do they deserve the right to privacy? If someone says to you either directly or indirectly through a protest, ballot initiative, or a vote that he or she wants to decide what you do to your own body and how you chose to live your life, should that person at least be willing to identify himself? If that person feels they have the right to tell other people how to live or what they should believe in, should not that person at least have the confidence to publicly stand up for what they believe. They are in fact attempting to force their beliefs on others, and NOT the other way around. has posted the names of thousands of Arkansas citizens who signed the anti-gay adoption and foster care petition in 2008. I wonder if, ironically, these are the same people who disagree with abortion. I am assuming that these petitioners are not waiting in line to adopt all these children with no home. Therefore, I guess it would be fair to say that these bigoted people would rather these kids grow up without a family than to be a part of a loving, supportive gay household. What great morals these people have, huh?

The group behind the amendment wants the Arkansas Legislature to pass a law to prohibit the release of the petitioners’ “personal information”. has previously posted online the names of hundreds of thousands anti-gay petition signers in Massachusetts and Florida. Tom Lang, the director behind the Massachusetts based organization says “This is about responsibility and dialogue. These petition signers need to stand behind their signatures and be responsible for this dehumanizing attack on the gay community. It’s disgraceful that they have chosen to exercise their prejudice at the expense of children…”

So should people who discriminate against gay people be made public? Well, that’s for you to decide. But, I’m willing to bet that if they were, there would be far less people signing petitions.

I wish you strength and enlightenment.

:) The Gay Mentor

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Civil Rights and Gay Rights

Hello All,

It’s going on 10:00 p.m. and I’m tired. Usually this is the time I am full of energy, but I haven’t had my nap today and I didn’t take an energy pill. I did do a boatload of household laundry and the yard today, so I did accomplished something. I try not to overwhelm myself if it isn’t necessary.

Despite my fatigue, I really wanted to get this blog out to you today. As a bi-racial, half African-American, gay woman, I feel that April 4th is a significant day in history. That was the date of Martin Luther King’s assassination over 40 years ago. Shortly after, President Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1968 marking the textbook year end to the civil rights movement.

Now, the exact year may vary depending on who’s answering, and some will argue that the movement is still an ongoing process. Sometimes it is hard to change a reality that existed for many years. Not many people like change, but after a while, people will get use to it. I find many similarities with the civil rights movement and the gay rights movement.

Both groups of minorities have had a difficult time finding equality in the “land of the free”. Just as African-Americans fought in wars defending this country and not getting equal treatment and respect in return, so have gay people. Just as interracial dating was once illegal, so was homosexuality. And just as many Americans of different backgrounds fought against the blatant prejudices that existed less than half a century ago for African-Americans, currently we have many people standing up for the gay community.

We are progressing as a nation. Not only is homosexuality no longer considered a crime, there are several states that have legalized gay marriage. Yesterday, Iowa became the third state to legalize same-sex marriages following Massachusetts and Connecticut. There are other states that allow civil unions, but that is not equivalent to marriage. As human beings and American citizens, we are fighting for the same rights as any other American citizen.

I think the most important thing to remember is that sometimes changing a system which is not reasonable takes a fight. There are different ways to fight for equality. A thing to remember is that it takes persistence. Not everyone may agree with you, but if you take the time to help people understand your perspective, you may just win a few people over. And with enough won battles, justice will prevail.

I wish you much peace and happiness.

:) The Gay Mentor

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Up and Running

Hello to All,

I am glad you stopped by to read my blog. This is my first entry, but definitely not my last. Since it is 4:00 a.m. and I have a veterinary appointment at 9:00, I won't make this post long. I just want to cover the basics to get you and me started on this wonderful journey together into gay awareness. Collectively, as a great society, we can educate and advocate for equality.

I am not sure how you found this page. Maybe you did a Google search and found this blog or my website, You also could have heard my internet radio show on BlogTalkRadio and discovered more about me from there. Whatever your method, it is a pleasure to be able to offer you more information on homosexuality. My goal is to give you a better understanding of our perspective.

Of course, your feedback is always welcome here. Feel free to email me with any comments, questions, or possible future show topics. My shows are recorded LIVE on Monday nights, if you are interested in participating in the discussion or chat, and are archived and downloadable. I also plan to add another page to my website devoted to giving advice to people in need of help. Currently, my "Questions/Advice" page consists of many questions, my response, and some additional links/numbers to other organizations that may better assist your needs.

I wish you all the best. Now I need to get some sleep.

:)The Gay Mentor